I lost my train of...what was I talking about again?

I need to talk to someone.

How about me?

You? No, I mean someone that is not...me.

But I am not you, I am a figment of your imagination.

Which is exactly why you are me. I’m the one coming up with your pathetic arguments, buster.

And is that supposed to reflect poorly on me? Remember, I’m controlled by your thoughts. You summoned me with your lonely question, and instead of doing anything productive, you go and talk to yourself. I could have been on vacation instead.

But only I could imagine that!

Wow, this beach is spectacular. Thanks!