Wednesday, March 9, 2016

An Adventure

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream..."

"If you sing that song one more time, I swear I will scream. Stop making the boat spin so much. Go left."

"Merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream."

"Now we're turning right! Do you even know how to use a paddle? Give it to me. Look, now I'm all wet."

"Near, far, wherever you are..."

"Shut up! You never told me there would be rapids. I hate thoooooooose! I want to get out of this boat. My pants are soaked."

"What do you say, Tower of Terror next?"

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Same Coin

Tap tap tap tap tap

Oh God. Creepy guy alert.
Ugh. You can see him checking me out.

I wish he would stop clicking his pen
Maybe if I say something…

“Please keep it down,” I say.

I briskly make my exit.

I’ll avoid that seat in the future,
Tap de da tap tap de da

Sweet. Hot girl at 3 o’clock.
She is totally sneaking glances.

She’s got a booger on her nose
A gentleman would say something…

“Oh my god. Shut up!” she yelled.

She storms off.

Maybe I’ll see her tomorrow.
Ah, the exuberance of youth.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Nothing happened today.

Let me tell you all about it.

I had a flashback just now of a play I imagined in my tiny, tiny head during 7th grade. Titled “I Desperately Need an Omelette,” my masterpiece featured a boy with a sudden urge for that fluffy blanket of eggs. However, to his eventual and comedic dismay, everyone he meets knows nothing about the concept of an omelette. Eggs exist, frying pans exist, PAM cooking spray exists, but no omelette. No omelette! In his desperation he gathers the ingredients himself…and makes an omelette.

This was the extent of my creativity. Frankly, I’m jealous.

Also, I'm surprised that I'm still gaining followers (a few) despite being inactive for months. School's out, so I might as well write a few things to thank the new members. Look forward to it, perhaps.

Sunday, April 8, 2012


Her silence dimmed the atmosphere, the colors around her were as muted as her voice. Her calm demeanor made his anything but. Her cool stare was directed not at him, but the opposite wall. He needed to know why.

“Hey, why are you so quiet? Is this some sort of punishment? Is it my fault? Oh, ho ho, it’s always my fault, isn’t it?

Her eyes twitched at this, a sign of weakness. He raised his voice.

“Tell me. Tell me! Why must I endure this treatment?”

“Shut up! Watch the movie you antelope’s ass!” She drenched him with popcorn.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

You have to admit, it's cheaper than therapy

He had me pinned to the wall by the collar of my shirt. My left hand inched its way discreetly toward my pants pocket, and I pulled out the one thing that could save me. My lunch money.

It was only two dollars, I was used to it. The faster he left me, the better.

“What’s wrong? You seem out of it today.”

“I’m… being bullied.” I decided to be honest. He slackened his grip on my shirt. I gasped for air.

“Family troubles? Don’t worry, you can talk to me anytime.”

And he walked away with my lunch money.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Short Story #2

Every Friday, or on days when Dad went on fishing trips, Mom would pick me up from school during her break, and bring me to the Anchorage public library, where she worked at the checkout counters. I would always look forward to these visits to the library, because I was different. I had a superpower, one that only revealed itself within those heavily air conditioned walls. Only it’s gone now, and I know exactly who to blame.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Something I wrote for my creative writing class. It's nothing special, just a first attempt at writing anything of decent length. I'm halfway through my next piece, so I'll post that as well once I'm done, yep yep.

When I was around 10 years old, a group of men in funny clothing kidnapped me and bluntly informed me that I had invented the pop up toaster. Or, more specifically, that I hadn’t invented the toaster yet, but due to anomalies in the space-time continuum, they had deemed it necessary to place me in a more desirable temporal plane. If this is confusing at all to anyone, then please sympathize with my feelings at the time, a poor boy without a clue as to what a toaster was. Being kidnapped, yeah, whatever, that too.