Jumping the Shark

Yes, readers. Merely two posts into my ramblings, we have our first guest submission! Claiming first prize in this competition of one is the lovely Dana, who is no stranger to imaginative writing. So, without further hesitation, here it is:

And there you go,

wobbling crazily as both of your legs are completely asleep.

This is probably because you like to sit with your knees crushed up under your chin, though in all honestly, you like doing most things in this position.

Something about the fetal position reminds you

that this would make it very difficult for someone to shoot you in the stomach.

These are the things you think about.

“fuck the whales,” you scream, waving your fist around wildly.

“and save the sharks, instead!”

you do not care deeply about whale welfare.

You’re just that sort of person.