Thursday, October 28, 2010

It was a Dark and Stormy Night

There was no doubt that Jason was a lucky man, – just ask his college professors – a fact he was well aware of, so when he was touring an underground bunker as nuclear warfare broke out with his girlfriend of two months and three weeks, he decided the time was ripe to propose.

“Wait until you see the whites of their eyes,” thought William as he loaded his bayonet on Bunker Hill, yet when the assailants lowered their heads in their headlong charge, he became confused at the hypothetical and literal complications of such actions and panicked; William is my ancestor.

These two sentences were inspired by a competition for the worst opening line to a novel. You can find better (worse?) ones here.


  1. The opening lines to the worst novel of all time go like this:

    "I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this. I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something. I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it is unreasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me."